whoopsrobots:

College has me so fucked up. Some kid just told me that our final assignments are due in fifteen minutes and my first reaction was acceptance. I don’t even have anything to hand in, it’s worth 30% of my mark and I was just ready to embrace the void. Wasn’t even relieved when he said he was kidding. Nobody can touch this. I’ve surpassed this mortal plane

friendlybukkake:

Shoutout to all the dudes who’ve stopped being my friend cause they realized I’d never fuck them

gnarly:

circumcising:

what did people even wear in 2008

apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur 

charlesoberonn:

People who skip the OITNB intro need to remember that taking steps is easy and standing still is hard.

stability:

parents: no, youre not allowed to go

me: 

hockeylvr42:

mathematigoaliegifted:

hockeylvr42:

just-shower-thoughts:

If everything in the universe suddenly got 100 times bigger, at the exact same time, there’d be no way of noticing.

Calm down Plato, I only like to question my existence after 5pm

But if you think about it, it’s always after 5 pm.

STOP

nokiabae:

my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night

jeanroqueraltique:

making a new friend

they turn out to be a complete asshole